When will be start believing women?
Initially this post was supposed to be released in January, but life happened, I was swamped, I took a step back but I felt that it was still important to address this topic.
There is a growing discontent worldwide, a growing number of women are speaking out about men in powerful positions who abuse it, whether in the workplace or out of it.
Despite movements such as TimesUp, MeToo, women's voices have continued to be ignored, however there is growing evidence that those times are slowing changing.
Recently in the western world, we have seen major male figures in Hollywood and other industries, such as Harvey Weinstein, Kevin Spacey, Louis C.K and recently musician Robert Kelly, known as R Kelly, taking the latest hit.
Surviving R Kelly.
Just last week, a lawyer for the accusers obtained a recent video of him with an underaged girl.
The docu-series was the biggest topic of conversation on social media for weeks.
The doc-series focused on sexual predatory behavior of R Kelly, that we all knew. But the depth of it was shocking.
Early on in my life, I was aware that R Kelly had charges against him of child pornography and his interests in under aged girls. Including the infamous sex tape that allegedly purports him engaging in sexual activity with an under aged teenager.
We learn in the docu-series that the girl was 14 at the time of the recording, where the man in the video proceeds to pee into the girl's mouth.
R Kelly's transgressions have been well reported in the mainstream media. It has been widely spoken off, the sex tape was widely distributed in video stores during the early 2000s. He was substantially acquitted of child pornography charges after the 14 year old's niece, Sparkle, pressed charges.
Despite this more allegations come to light after the trial, but world continued to listen to his music.
In many black communities, R Kelly's music is centered around celebrations, weddings, birthdays and some church services.
In our household, every year we listened to 'Step in the name of love' every News Years Eve and R Kelly's greatest hits album, would be on reply during the festive season.
Because of this, some people find it hard to give up those memories and the attachment R Kelly's music comes with.
It's a tough pill swallow.
We were aware of his sick flaws, we continued to listen, supported his music and even defended him. Comforting ourselves of his musical genius.
There has been wide discussions on social media where people say they have separated the artist from the music.
But, some of his music is influenced by the pain he inflicted on several women.
He married Aaliyah when she was 15, Kelly was 27, he even released a song called, 'Age aint but a number." She lied on the married certificate, saying she was 18. His assistant at the time, falsified the documents, he recalled how Aaliyah looked at him, a cry for help, but he did nothing.
I was a huge fan of R Kelly, I only officially started taking a stand against him last year when reports surfaced that he kept young women in 'sex dungeons', allegedly against they will.
Why did it take me so long? Complacency and the great music.
I was wrong.
We've seen images of parents pleading to the world to listen to them, as they try to get their daughters out of Kelly's control and get them back home.
Is it the fact that the victims are black women and girls, that actions have not been taken?
The docu-series made clear, if it were young white women, R Kelly would be locked up.
The music industry and his inner circle protected him, looked on and did nothing.
Multiple people had witnessed him having sex with underage girls, behavior which is not normal.
A grown adult hanging around high schools and restaurants, sometimes leaving with girls aged 15, and people did nothing.
Instead, people chose to ignore the victim, shame them, saying they out for R Kelly's money and fame.
These children, yes children, when you 14, 15 to 17, you still a child. Questions such as, "why did it they leave"? Why did it they ask for help if they actually were held against their will?
A predator makes it hard for the victim to leave.
They brainwash, control, before you know it, the victim feels like they have no other option but to stay.
Victim blaming has to stop. When is it enough? How many stories do you need to hear that satisfy your opinion or rage?
Surviving R Kelly series shows how people will put into doubt everything a victim says about their story. Trying to belittle and breakdown the abuse they allegedly went through.
This is why women do not report the sexual offences, because people do not believe them.
If we want to create a society that is safe for women, first start listening to them, do not brush them aside, understand that it took a lot for them to come forward.
Most of the time these women just need support, they take stand, hoping the rest of us take some action to avoid the same mistakes of the past.
There is a growing discontent worldwide, a growing number of women are speaking out about men in powerful positions who abuse it, whether in the workplace or out of it.
Despite movements such as TimesUp, MeToo, women's voices have continued to be ignored, however there is growing evidence that those times are slowing changing.
Recently in the western world, we have seen major male figures in Hollywood and other industries, such as Harvey Weinstein, Kevin Spacey, Louis C.K and recently musician Robert Kelly, known as R Kelly, taking the latest hit.
Surviving R Kelly.
Just last week, a lawyer for the accusers obtained a recent video of him with an underaged girl.
The docu-series was the biggest topic of conversation on social media for weeks.
The doc-series focused on sexual predatory behavior of R Kelly, that we all knew. But the depth of it was shocking.
Early on in my life, I was aware that R Kelly had charges against him of child pornography and his interests in under aged girls. Including the infamous sex tape that allegedly purports him engaging in sexual activity with an under aged teenager.
We learn in the docu-series that the girl was 14 at the time of the recording, where the man in the video proceeds to pee into the girl's mouth.
R Kelly's transgressions have been well reported in the mainstream media. It has been widely spoken off, the sex tape was widely distributed in video stores during the early 2000s. He was substantially acquitted of child pornography charges after the 14 year old's niece, Sparkle, pressed charges.
 |
| Photo- Rolling Stone |
Despite this more allegations come to light after the trial, but world continued to listen to his music.
In many black communities, R Kelly's music is centered around celebrations, weddings, birthdays and some church services.
In our household, every year we listened to 'Step in the name of love' every News Years Eve and R Kelly's greatest hits album, would be on reply during the festive season.
Because of this, some people find it hard to give up those memories and the attachment R Kelly's music comes with.
It's a tough pill swallow.
We were aware of his sick flaws, we continued to listen, supported his music and even defended him. Comforting ourselves of his musical genius.
There has been wide discussions on social media where people say they have separated the artist from the music.
But, some of his music is influenced by the pain he inflicted on several women.
 |
| Photo- slate.com |
He married Aaliyah when she was 15, Kelly was 27, he even released a song called, 'Age aint but a number." She lied on the married certificate, saying she was 18. His assistant at the time, falsified the documents, he recalled how Aaliyah looked at him, a cry for help, but he did nothing.
 |
| Photo- Pajiba |
I was a huge fan of R Kelly, I only officially started taking a stand against him last year when reports surfaced that he kept young women in 'sex dungeons', allegedly against they will.
Why did it take me so long? Complacency and the great music.
I was wrong.
We've seen images of parents pleading to the world to listen to them, as they try to get their daughters out of Kelly's control and get them back home.
Is it the fact that the victims are black women and girls, that actions have not been taken?
The docu-series made clear, if it were young white women, R Kelly would be locked up.
The music industry and his inner circle protected him, looked on and did nothing.
Multiple people had witnessed him having sex with underage girls, behavior which is not normal.
A grown adult hanging around high schools and restaurants, sometimes leaving with girls aged 15, and people did nothing.
Instead, people chose to ignore the victim, shame them, saying they out for R Kelly's money and fame.
 |
| Photo- Lisa Van Allen, recalled how she had threesomes with R Kelly and underage girls when she was just 17. Photo: www.romper.com |
These children, yes children, when you 14, 15 to 17, you still a child. Questions such as, "why did it they leave"? Why did it they ask for help if they actually were held against their will?
A predator makes it hard for the victim to leave.
They brainwash, control, before you know it, the victim feels like they have no other option but to stay.
Victim blaming has to stop. When is it enough? How many stories do you need to hear that satisfy your opinion or rage?
Surviving R Kelly series shows how people will put into doubt everything a victim says about their story. Trying to belittle and breakdown the abuse they allegedly went through.
This is why women do not report the sexual offences, because people do not believe them.
If we want to create a society that is safe for women, first start listening to them, do not brush them aside, understand that it took a lot for them to come forward.
Most of the time these women just need support, they take stand, hoping the rest of us take some action to avoid the same mistakes of the past.
This is good my love.These are conversations that need to be had. I am certainly one of those who have a problem believing everything that was detailed in the docu-series. it is HARD to believe that THE RKelly is the same man that was doing all these things to these girls. It is sickening to be honest. I pray that he finds true forgiveness going forward, and that is if he is even sorry.
ReplyDeleteThank you:) That is true, now that he has turned himself in, it is up to the prosecutors to do justice to the victims.
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